Apathy ==> Antipathy

I nearly cried at work yesterday. Why? Because I used the word "action" as a verb. The corporate zombies are eating my brain.

I've discovered that if you say something enough times it becomes true, even if it starts off as a joke. Like "I hate everyone" and "I don't care what people think of me" and "deep down inside, everyone around me is a soulless douche". There is not a single human being in sight, especially not one that I don't want to do grievous bodily harm to. I can't talk to people. They talk bullshit. It's all gibberish to me. It's just random sentences, most of them quotes from something or in-jokes that make no sense to all but 3 other people. There's no topic of conversation anymore. It's all just an asinine attempt at being post-modern. I can't stand it.

But that used to me, right? I used to speak incoherently about nothing and everything and giggle constantly while doing it. Right? Look at those sentences! Incoherently! Asinine! What are these fucking words? This is why there is no conversation! These words are from non-fiction novels by evolutionary biologists commenting on religion in the modern world, they're not things you actually say or think in your head! No one talks to text books. No one even looks at them. They just pretend to flick through them when they feel obligated.

Let's just think logically about this. Is it really that everyone else has slowly become intolerable, and that somehow I'm the only sane person left? Is anyone really doing or saying anything different to before? Who is it here that is being anti-social? Show me who is causing this calamity, I'll bash the living shit out of them...

Is this maybe... my fault? =gasp=

Choices and consequences. Choices. Consequences. First you make a choice. Then there are consequences. Choice. Then consequence.
Oh. I see it now. Oops.

How do I undo it? Where's the rewind button? Cntrl + Z... cntrl + Z!! CNTRL + Z!! Fuck. It's not working. It's irreversible. I'm stuck with it. Arg.

So this is what the word "alienation" means.