Killing Myself Softly...

... with this intestinal cleansing fast.

What is it? 10 days fast on a special mixture to flush out the bowels. No food.

Why? Everyone at work is doing it. Well, they were... now it's just two of us. Anyway, the challenge intrigues me, I'd like to see how long I can go without solid food ("but I love solids!" ).

Also, I've become obsessed with calendars, such as the Mayan calendar, and want to create my own calendar cycle with my own festivities. Catholics have Lent, Muslims have Ramadan, Jews have Yom Kippur, Hindus have... lots of them.... I could have my own 10 day annual bowel cleansing festival.

How? Just a breakfast of salty water, followed by 2.5 L throughout the day of a strange lemon juice - maple syrup drink, topped off with a herbal laxative at night. I've added my own twist with some Mylanta (mmmmm... fibre...) and Centrum multivitamins.

Where? Where? What sort of question is that? In my abdomen, that's where.

Last night I had the herbal laxative. It was just a teaspoon of herbs washed down with water. I nearly threw up. This morning I had the salt water flush. It was luke warm. I nearly threw up.

Then I took Apple Passionfruit juice to work instead of the mix by accident because they were kept in identical bottles. I didn't notice the difference because I hate apple juice and I've never drunk Apple Passionfruit juice.

So I sat there like a dork saying how nice the mix is, and how the lemon tastes stronger than the maple syrup, which I couldn't taste at all, and how the cayenne pepper wasn't spicy at all. Then Jones rang asking where his apple juice had gone and it clicked.

IDIOT. Oh well, KFC mashies for lunch for me I guess. Cleansing fast starts tomorrow.