Haven't You People Ever Heard of Finishing a Goddamn Song?

Know what sucks about PANIC! At the Disco?

They're songs start off great, but then they die. Like they have a great idea when they're stoned, but 3 seconds later they've forgotten it. Like they get bored after composing the first minute of song and just "auto-fill" the rest. Like they come up with a concept, and 2 short verses with a chorus, then fit it into a pop-hit template to work out the rest.

Don't get sucked in by their avant-garde titles, like "There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet" There's a pedestrian lurking behind each one.

I Write Sins Not Tragedies:

"Haven't you people ever heard of / Closing a goddamn door"

Oh what a great chorus. And the verses have a little story going on. Well the first one does, the second one is half a verse that is repeated and doesn't really tell you anything at all. As for the third verse - what do you mean third verse? There is no third verse? These cunt run off with the last phrase of the chorus "poise and rationality" and just float off into a foggy middle eighth refrain (more like a middle thirty-second) that repeats and repeats and repeats, with a chorus thrown in there for good measure.

So if you like the verse and chorus, the band basically says "tough shit... 80% of this song isn't going to sound like a song at all, it's going to punk version of ambient music with some emo wanker cooing over the top".

Listening to this song is like wading through mud.

Lying is the Most Fun A Girl Can Have With Her Clothes On

"Let's get these two hearts beating faster faster"

Starts off intense and serious and personal. It sounds like a song about sexuality and jealousy. Sounds hot. Like it? Wanna hear more? Tough shit. AGAIN.

Did their constant repetition of "poise and rationality" make you want to die during I.W.S.N.T? Just wait until you wake up screaming at 3am, sweating, with "dance to this beat, dance to this beeeeat" on constant loop in your head.

What the fuck does that mean: "testosterone boys and harlequin(?) girls / dance to this beat and hold a lover close"? Fucking hell. The only time a song can address its audience as a large collective mass is in hip hop and rap. "B-boys" and "fly girls" have no place in rock. It doesn't work. That's why people who like hip hop think rock is corny: because it does shit like that.

My god. Would you ever hear Kurt Cobain sing "Everybody in the house, put your hands up in the air"? NO? So what gives PANIC! the chutzpah to do the equivalent themselves?

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WHY AM I SO ANGRY? Because if there is a God then he has really fucked us over. It should be the 4th law of thermodynamics that you can't give someone the ability to do something proficiently, without creativity and imagination to make it enjoyable for others. It's like God gave them the talent, and I got the ideas, but without both in the one person, they're each useless.

Why God? Why give my talent to those air-head art-punk-emo fuckwits who think that a simple key change will make the song sound a bit more varied? Did I offend you in the womb?! Are there some in utero sins I have yet to pay off? Did I worship my umbilical cord as a false idol?

PANIC! At the Disco are no more than a dressed-up, over-glorified Blink 182. In fact, the only real difference is that PANIC! know more than 3 chords and don't sing songs like "shit piss c*nt f*ck cocksucker motherf*cker" and if you really think about it, that actually makes Blink 182 better, because at least they're honest about the purility of their work.