Cornish Alkal-eye for the Metal Guy

My flatmate is being stalked. Further details on his Fagspace blog.

Who the fuck has the time, really? See, in theory, I'm the perfect candidate for a stalker-type. I hate everyone: there'd be openings for new stalking victims everyday.
But I am full of hate because I see everyone else as boring, self-absorbed one-trick ponies. I'd never waste anymore time on them than I have to.
Then again, I guess I shouldn't hold stalkers and other humanoids to the nose-bleed heights of my own standards.

Stalkers have a lot of misdirected creative energy, I'll give them that. This stalker uses a cryptically named email address (cornishalkali@gmail.com... perhaps misspelt as cornishalkalai@gmail.com... yeah there's the email for you to spam and harrass if you like, oh non-existent reader.), and writes cryptic emails and even may have been lurking around behind our back fence a couple of times, shining a torch or pen-light through the thatching. Oooooohhh sppooookky.

It seems very alarming at first, until you consider that 99% of people who get this worked up about things that other people don't even realise they've done to them, and if they do, the adult thing is to confront people about it. . They can't even take it face-to-face, mano y mano. And they can't even just argue it - they have to stalk them and pretend to be out to "destroy them" with "retribution" and other "stupid shit in quotation marks".

Yep. I don't understand stalkers. I don't even get people pretending to be a stalker as a joke.